Nothing new. It happens most years..

Well I heard from all of my family today, that was great! But my three closest friends some how managed to miss my birthday. Disappointed? Yes. I try so damn hard not to forget them but hey who cares right? Kristy never forgets.. Oh well. Kevin, Never. Did I hear from either? No. Kristy I believe had her EMTBNR Exam tonight. So thats all good. Kevin? Dunno. But the one that hurts is the one that I talk to regardless of circumstances. Most nights. But nope no James either. Jeeze Im really feeling the love today.... You know most years its my dad but he actually remembered this year. As did my only surviving Grandparents. But yes I am truly disappointed. Especially when Kris Fairly remembers my birthday and I have only known him for two years. Oh well its nothing new, it happens most years.

Yet some one else is on my mind tonight. Some one of a nature I rarely speak of. Some one who once made an impact on my life. Some one who I keep locked deep down inside. Then the words of a song run threw my head.... " I dont know if you would, but Id go back if I could. I wonder do you think of me." And yes I do wonder. "When you drive by the school do you remember two fools?" or the line "the classes we missed, caused by a kiss." Just random lines but all the more I can hear those words running threw my mind and I do wonder if you think of me? For my heart never forgot and it was left perfect. I chose to live it that way and shall for the rest of my life. Knowing that no one will ever show me perfection in the sense of no pain and anguish again. Realizing with each passing year that the memory does not fade and is kept sacred because of the secracy involved. The emotional down pour is immense. Life, love and integrity changed after you. You took my grey days and made them bright yellow. Never letting on to any that was what you were to me. Never revealing to any that was what I was to you. Only leaving the words said between two crazy fools that were teenagers. I wonder do you think of me?? When you drive threw our old home town do you see those memories replay? I know the last time I was there I did. I went out to the football stadium and sat for hours. I sat and thought about all those Friday nights. Then it happend. I watched an old video and caught a glimpse of you touching my hand ever so discreetly the way you did. The memories flooded in once more and it all sparked again. Knowing how we left it on graduation day when you went away, I know that forever it will be my perfect memory. Even though that year was so hard for me, you made it all right in your own way. All I really want to say is though I will never reveal your name, my heart will forever have a dear spot just for you. Though you should know that I am deeply in love with some one else. Knowing the last and most significant try almost killed me. This is my last stab at it for I have no use for more pain. Thank you for being my perfect memory......