My Hearts Cry

I feel the cold air on my face,
The snow crunch under my feet.
All a refreshing force for a girl used to hot air and mud.
I see beauty,
Hear the silence absorbed by the fine white powder.
I wonder if my heart can be cleansed,
If only I allowed it.
I wish for such peace to envelope me,
Take me to a better place.
Praying for a peace of mind that only few achieve,
I ask for guidance.
My life cries for renewal of love,
Revival of purities I shall never attain.
I relive my personal hell regularly,
Ever reaching for the day I will become peaceful again.
Looking in the mirror,
I see a girl no longer.
A woman suddenly looks back at me,
Begging for human contact.
My heart never allowing it to enter,
Too fragile to allow more pain.
I feel cold air on my face,
I see beauty around me.
Now if only my mind would allow it to penetrate my soul,
Release me from the agony you have bound to me.
Allow me to grow in light,
Instead of asking me to live in hell.