Well I got an email I dont really want to talk about. But I have a feeling the outcome wont be so good. My Aunt Doreen is in the hospital in Houston. Looks really bad. Shes been coded out several times and they cant keep bringing her back. So Im worried on that front. Im worried about a personal matter. Im thinking I may just be hurting again tonight. If thats the case I am throwing in the towel. I dont really care who reads this. I dont really care what they think. My heart is still fragile and I know I have trust issues but the love I feel is very real. The hatred I feel towards Toby is just as tangible as this computer sitting in front of me. But the mistrust I have for people in general is a fight I fight every day. I want to believe that not all people are going to hurt me. Especially women. I want to believe there are good people in the world. I want my heart to slow down a little. My nerves are killing me. My mood is bleaque. I am not in the best of conditions emotionally. I want to go hide under a rock instead of taking this impending phone call I must answer later. All I do know is that I may not come out of my room much tonight. I want to go back to sleep. The only good part of my day so far was pretty neat. Chris and I went snow boarding. That was awesome. I suck. I fell alot. But damn did I have fun. Anyways now my nerves are nagging at me I think I am gonna go lay down. Im gonna go pray that I am not gonna be hurt again.
No comments:
Post a Comment