I feel so yucky....

Well I came down with some kinda stomach bug last night. Gee havent I felt great. No. It has really sucked actually. I spent the majority of today in bed, or the floor. Where ever I felt the most comfortable at the moment. I feel so bad Kristy called me last night. She had such good news and immediately she asked me what was wrong. Ok well she had talked to Hope but still. I refuse to cry to anyone. So I held it all in and told her exactly what had happend. Told her the stupid shit I had said. She didnt know what to say. Maybe what I need is time to have only me to worry about. I made her laugh though. I told her all about mine and Chana's conversation the other night. I just hope that he stays away from Leon County. Hes already got enough people mad at him. Heaven help us all if Kevin ever finds him. I got that great and beautiful account the other night. Havent talked to Kevin since Sunday. I need to call him. I need to see him. I need the care that so far out of all the men in my life, Kevin has been the only one to give me. Most people dont get us. Theres no attraction. Though we act as familiar as an old married couple. God I miss him. I havent made any real friends yet. I mean none my age. I have Cheryl. Shes twice my age, great to talk to though. Theres Sarah. But shes my brothers girl friend. Other than that I have met no one my own age. Well actually I havent met anyone my age. Thats cool though. I never did hang much with kids my own age. Kevin is 6 months older than me, Kristy 6 younger, April 2 months. Thats the extent of friends my age. I think my mom kinda has an idea that James and I arent together anymore. But she knows me well enough to know that I dont want to talk about it. Kristy said I can call anytime. But I dont want to ruin her good vibration. God Im so happy for her. Joey proposed. April's getting married, in april. Theres just me and Kevin left now. I dont think the two of us will ever get married, to anyone. Nope. At least me. Kevins one of those guys a girl would die to have one of. But like me, he keeps getting hurt. Keeps getting real good hurt. The two of us could write a book. I swear to God neither of us ever really hurt until we werent around each other. It was after the two of us started living in different states that that shit started happening. But gee could we point out the bull shit. Always could. Ok well I am gonna go face up to him. Talk more later. If I feel good enough that is.