So its been a long while since I last sat down and wrote to anyone. Theres been so much going on lately that I have felt all turned around. Im feeling the stress of school really badly right now. I never realized all those years in high school how easy it all came to me. Now I feel like the dumb kid in class, but really thats only when he hands us a test and my brain goes completely blank.
I finally got to go home. However it wasnt under the most favored circumstances. My wonderful Uncle David died. He was a great inspiration and a very dear loved one in my life. He showed me one of the few stable men that I have ever really known. He stepped in when ever I needed some one far more than even I realized. He was always there when I needed some one to talk to and some how had this knack for just showing up at my home when I needed some one the most. I never knew how he did that but he always did. I think in my four years in high school that he may have gone to more of my school functions than my own dad did. Sad, right. Well thats just how he was. He always knew just how to make you laugh or how to make you feel better when you felt like total crap.
I remember this one time right before I moved away from Houston, I was at home alone for the weekend. He called to check on me and mom during the day one day. I talked to him for a bit then he said he would see me later. Well about two hours or so later he showed up. I think he knew I was getting a little depressed with my mom getting married and pending move. He sat with me for a few hours while we talked and he prayed with me. When Uncle David left I felt a sense of relief where I had felt a bit of emptiness. Not that it cured it, but he made sure that I knew that I was not alone. I really needed it.
Its memories like that, that make me wish that I had been closer the last few years. He was always stressing to me that family was so important. He always told me not to give up on my dad. I never have. I just reserve the right to be pissed. He would tell me that he wished there was more he could do. What I wish I could say to him now is that he couldnt have done more to make a lost girl feel more loved in a world where she was confused and lonely. There were so many other things that he and my Aunt Ramona did for us. They will never know how much I love them. Even if I call every day and tell her what he meant to me, what he still means to me.
No, I didnt call often. Hell almost never. But thats how I deal with the crap. When Im hurt, I ball up and do it else where. I have a very hard time grieving. Yep we put him to rest over a week ago and Im still having problems crying or putting those feelings in motion. I cant bring myself to cry. The most Ive done is a little bit of tear shed during a few songs. I feel like I cant do it. Like crying over him would be like the loss I felt with my Nana.
Over my Nana, I cried day and night. I would wake up in cold sweats then call my mom and cry for a few more hours. I was pathetic. I just dont know if I can go through that again. I had so much guilt over not being there or not calling that I just broke down. I still miss her so much that I dream about her. I dream that shes calling me to come to her, when I get there shes gone. Ive never been more torn over anything. Thats how death makes me feel. Torn. Now if only I could deal a little better, I would be able to move on.
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Omaha
On Wednesay, December 5, 2007 at approximately 1:42 pm (CST), Robert Hawkins walked int the Von Maur store, in the Westroads Mall in Omaha, Nebraska. With him was an assault riffle and he used that to kill 8 people, and himself. These men and women all started their day thinking that it would be a normal, run of the mill day. But it wasnt. This deeply disturbed boy hurt so many more people than just the 8 that were killed that day.
I want to thank all of you who have called, texted, or emailed in the last week to check on my family and me. It is of great comfort to know that you all care. My family and I were luckily all at home, work or school at the time when the mall shootings here in Omaha occurred on Wednesday. My brother, Matthew, and I work less than a mile from the mall that this transpired in.
I just want to tell you all that I love you and thank you for being a friend to me. I have learned that every person who is in your life is there for a reason. Even if you rarely talk to them. Events like this let me know what a large support group I have. Though I was not personally affected by this in any way other than shock, disbelief and grief for these people I did not know.
You never think that a tragedy such as this one will ever happen so close to your home. Yet I live 10 minutes from the Westroads Mall. Matthew lives less than a 5 minute drive from it. It really gives you a wake up call to tell every one you love just how much you do love them.
I drive past the Westroads every day. This afternoon on the way to work, I could not help but cry. You see, people are leaving memorials infront of the Von Maur store, and it is visible from the road. Omaha has become my home, and I love this city. I have several friends who were in the store that day, who fortunately left the store before the shootings occurred. One of which walked out only 10 minutes before hand. Call it luck, fate or what ever you will. I will count my blessings that these friends are still here with us.
Its so easy to disconnect from the world when you see some random act of violence happen. We sit glued to our televisions and scour the internet for information about them. This boy, Robert Hawkins, said he was going to be famous. Unfortunately he is now, and he is famous for all the wrong reasons. Yet I feel nothing but pity on him. If some one had just taken the time to actually show him love and support, maybe this could have been stopped before he thought of it. It has really made me think about how I treat people. I sincerely hope it will do the same for every one who reads this.
I ask for the prayers of all of you, no matter what faith you chose to practice, for the families of the victims. They have a long road ahead of them to recovery. In particular I ask you for the prayers for the family of one of my co-workers. Her mom was an employee at Von Maur and was one of the victims, Beverly Flynn. Though I do not know her, nor do I know that I have met the daughter, she is a part of my Marriott family.
With each breath you take, remember that you are not ensured another. Live with out regrets and remember to let those you love know it. You never know when you will or if you will see them again. I for one will hold on a little tighter to my loved ones from now on. Thank you.
I want to thank all of you who have called, texted, or emailed in the last week to check on my family and me. It is of great comfort to know that you all care. My family and I were luckily all at home, work or school at the time when the mall shootings here in Omaha occurred on Wednesday. My brother, Matthew, and I work less than a mile from the mall that this transpired in.
I just want to tell you all that I love you and thank you for being a friend to me. I have learned that every person who is in your life is there for a reason. Even if you rarely talk to them. Events like this let me know what a large support group I have. Though I was not personally affected by this in any way other than shock, disbelief and grief for these people I did not know.
You never think that a tragedy such as this one will ever happen so close to your home. Yet I live 10 minutes from the Westroads Mall. Matthew lives less than a 5 minute drive from it. It really gives you a wake up call to tell every one you love just how much you do love them.
I drive past the Westroads every day. This afternoon on the way to work, I could not help but cry. You see, people are leaving memorials infront of the Von Maur store, and it is visible from the road. Omaha has become my home, and I love this city. I have several friends who were in the store that day, who fortunately left the store before the shootings occurred. One of which walked out only 10 minutes before hand. Call it luck, fate or what ever you will. I will count my blessings that these friends are still here with us.
Its so easy to disconnect from the world when you see some random act of violence happen. We sit glued to our televisions and scour the internet for information about them. This boy, Robert Hawkins, said he was going to be famous. Unfortunately he is now, and he is famous for all the wrong reasons. Yet I feel nothing but pity on him. If some one had just taken the time to actually show him love and support, maybe this could have been stopped before he thought of it. It has really made me think about how I treat people. I sincerely hope it will do the same for every one who reads this.
I ask for the prayers of all of you, no matter what faith you chose to practice, for the families of the victims. They have a long road ahead of them to recovery. In particular I ask you for the prayers for the family of one of my co-workers. Her mom was an employee at Von Maur and was one of the victims, Beverly Flynn. Though I do not know her, nor do I know that I have met the daughter, she is a part of my Marriott family.
With each breath you take, remember that you are not ensured another. Live with out regrets and remember to let those you love know it. You never know when you will or if you will see them again. I for one will hold on a little tighter to my loved ones from now on. Thank you.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
warning, this is emotional for me...
Have you ever known some one whose life touched yours in a way that you can not explain? Well I have. You know that person who is just your friend, not the person you married or the person you have some lifetime connection with. I mean some one who came into your life for a season, like a coworker or a teacher. That is the kind of person I will be telling you about today.
About two years ago, I moved to the department I am in now at work. This is when I met him for the very first time. He was off in his little corner working on the disaster bulletin as we had just had a hurricane and needed to keep updated information on our hotels. So I thought to myself that he was a very hard worker and kind of kept to himself. Then I started to get to know him and learned there was a wonderful person sitting next to me.
A few months into my endeavor at the lead desk, my friend became ill. To be honest he had been ill a long time, but this was new to me. I never knew that he was sick, to be honest it wouldnt have made a difference in our friendship. So I sent get well cards and such and in a month or so he was back to work and we were picking on him about all the pills he was taking. He was such a good sport about it all.
One afternoon he walked up to me and had that usual sly grin on his face. I said "Ok now what are you up too?" He just grinned and poked me in the side. To this he says " You know that I am gay right?" Well yeah I knew, so then he just laughs like it was a huge secret, "I think you have the cutest figure." That actually made me blush a little.
I worked on two committees with him. That was the Birthday and Team Building Committees. He was always there making me laugh while we worked on projects.
Some of my favorite memories of him were when we would be in a meeting and he would lighten the mood a little with a story. In particular I loved to hear him talk about telling his mom he was gay. She just sat there and clicked her finger nails and said "guess I wont be getting any damned grand kids from you." He did the funniest impression of her.
One afternoon we were under a tornado warning and the managers put us all under our desks. I am famous for my fear of these storms at work. David got up and walked around, when a manager walked by and told us to get under our desks again, he responed with "Well Im gonna die one day anyways so I think I will stay here." This I have to admit cracked me up a bit. But at that point I had no idea how ill he really was. I still have a picture I took with my cell phone of him that day.
I remember the last time I saw him at work. I had been ill. (I guess part of me will always feel guilty for hugging him that day, even though the illness had nothing to do with me.) He had been having some problems and was not feeling so well but I guess part of me knew it. The next afternoon Iheard some one say that he was slurring words and such that afternoon and was going to the doctor for some tests. I was worried some what and called my mom to ask for some prayer.
The next week was a bit of a challenge at work, I began hearing things like he was on an extended medical leave. Then one evening I was in Alpha and our "bat phone" rang. It was him. He was just calling cause he wanted to say hello. I talked a bit and he filled me in on just how bad it really was.
Then in the end of April we got the email telling us that if we wanted to see him again where we needed to go visit. To please do it sooner rather than later, he only had a few weeks to live. So a few of us sat to work and gave the team a project. Why send real flowers when we could make him some. So our team (work) made him paper flowers.
The morning of May 9th, I got the call from my boss. He had passed over the last night. I just kind of sat there in disbelief. Even at work I refused to really cry. It wasnt until the funeral, when they began to speak that I broke down. My friend Christy held my hand through it. We cried together as a team and as friends that day. He made our world a better place to be.
My friend was David Cantrell. I know that he was not some one I knew for a long time, nor that well. But he was some one that made a lasting impression on me and who never ceased to make me smile. There really should be more David's in this world.
**** Im sorry if this story jumps around and is a little out of place. It took me forever to figure out just how to say you love some one who never knew it.
About two years ago, I moved to the department I am in now at work. This is when I met him for the very first time. He was off in his little corner working on the disaster bulletin as we had just had a hurricane and needed to keep updated information on our hotels. So I thought to myself that he was a very hard worker and kind of kept to himself. Then I started to get to know him and learned there was a wonderful person sitting next to me.
A few months into my endeavor at the lead desk, my friend became ill. To be honest he had been ill a long time, but this was new to me. I never knew that he was sick, to be honest it wouldnt have made a difference in our friendship. So I sent get well cards and such and in a month or so he was back to work and we were picking on him about all the pills he was taking. He was such a good sport about it all.
One afternoon he walked up to me and had that usual sly grin on his face. I said "Ok now what are you up too?" He just grinned and poked me in the side. To this he says " You know that I am gay right?" Well yeah I knew, so then he just laughs like it was a huge secret, "I think you have the cutest figure." That actually made me blush a little.
I worked on two committees with him. That was the Birthday and Team Building Committees. He was always there making me laugh while we worked on projects.
Some of my favorite memories of him were when we would be in a meeting and he would lighten the mood a little with a story. In particular I loved to hear him talk about telling his mom he was gay. She just sat there and clicked her finger nails and said "guess I wont be getting any damned grand kids from you." He did the funniest impression of her.
One afternoon we were under a tornado warning and the managers put us all under our desks. I am famous for my fear of these storms at work. David got up and walked around, when a manager walked by and told us to get under our desks again, he responed with "Well Im gonna die one day anyways so I think I will stay here." This I have to admit cracked me up a bit. But at that point I had no idea how ill he really was. I still have a picture I took with my cell phone of him that day.
I remember the last time I saw him at work. I had been ill. (I guess part of me will always feel guilty for hugging him that day, even though the illness had nothing to do with me.) He had been having some problems and was not feeling so well but I guess part of me knew it. The next afternoon Iheard some one say that he was slurring words and such that afternoon and was going to the doctor for some tests. I was worried some what and called my mom to ask for some prayer.
The next week was a bit of a challenge at work, I began hearing things like he was on an extended medical leave. Then one evening I was in Alpha and our "bat phone" rang. It was him. He was just calling cause he wanted to say hello. I talked a bit and he filled me in on just how bad it really was.
Then in the end of April we got the email telling us that if we wanted to see him again where we needed to go visit. To please do it sooner rather than later, he only had a few weeks to live. So a few of us sat to work and gave the team a project. Why send real flowers when we could make him some. So our team (work) made him paper flowers.
The morning of May 9th, I got the call from my boss. He had passed over the last night. I just kind of sat there in disbelief. Even at work I refused to really cry. It wasnt until the funeral, when they began to speak that I broke down. My friend Christy held my hand through it. We cried together as a team and as friends that day. He made our world a better place to be.
My friend was David Cantrell. I know that he was not some one I knew for a long time, nor that well. But he was some one that made a lasting impression on me and who never ceased to make me smile. There really should be more David's in this world.
**** Im sorry if this story jumps around and is a little out of place. It took me forever to figure out just how to say you love some one who never knew it.
Monday, January 08, 2007
2006 in Review
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Went to Chicago!
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I didnt make any.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, several actually.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. Four people actually. Ashley, Cassie, Maegen, Emily
5. What countries did you visit?
Just the one I live in!
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Not much actually.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The ones that I sat and cried for my girls who died this year.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
We bought a house!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I didnt tell the girls I loved them. Now I cant.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh yeah I got pretty sick right at Christmas.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our house!!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
hmm, I will have to get back to you on that one.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
A whole stinking lot of people.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Miami, Chicago and Kansas City
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Good Question. I dont have a good answer though.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
A heck of a lot happier, about the same size, I got a raise but I am not richer!!!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Tell them i loved them more.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being upset at situations I could have changed.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Sicker than shit and at work.
21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Nope. I was already there.
23. How many one-night stands?
None Im not that kinda girl.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
Deal or No Deal. or To Catch a Predator on Dateline.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is such a strong word. I dont use it.
26. What was the best book you read?
Oh I read so many its hard to say. My favorite though was Elvis and Me by Pricilla Presley
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hm... I dont know that I had any.
28. What did you want and get?
To see my sisters, and I got them just not at the same time.
29. What did you want and not get?
Oh goodness alot of things.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Well I really loved Over the Hedge. But just for a good laugh RV was freaking hilarious.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24, I was sick.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Id rather not say that one, I still have this particular want.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Do what I like!
34. What kept you sane?
Adam
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hmmm.. I dont know.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Well I get involved in the Breast Cancer Awareness activities every year.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I would have to say that would be Kellie Runge. Shes my boss, but I find it very easy to talk to her.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Tell the people you love just how much you love them every chance you get. You may not have tomarrow.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Every now and then, soft as breath upon my skin, i feel you coming back again...... and I believe." --- when I am missing a loved one.
The name of the song is I Believe sung by Diamond Rio
Went to Chicago!
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I didnt make any.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, several actually.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. Four people actually. Ashley, Cassie, Maegen, Emily
5. What countries did you visit?
Just the one I live in!
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Not much actually.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The ones that I sat and cried for my girls who died this year.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
We bought a house!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I didnt tell the girls I loved them. Now I cant.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh yeah I got pretty sick right at Christmas.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our house!!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
hmm, I will have to get back to you on that one.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
A whole stinking lot of people.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Miami, Chicago and Kansas City
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Good Question. I dont have a good answer though.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
A heck of a lot happier, about the same size, I got a raise but I am not richer!!!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Tell them i loved them more.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being upset at situations I could have changed.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Sicker than shit and at work.
21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Nope. I was already there.
23. How many one-night stands?
None Im not that kinda girl.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
Deal or No Deal. or To Catch a Predator on Dateline.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is such a strong word. I dont use it.
26. What was the best book you read?
Oh I read so many its hard to say. My favorite though was Elvis and Me by Pricilla Presley
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hm... I dont know that I had any.
28. What did you want and get?
To see my sisters, and I got them just not at the same time.
29. What did you want and not get?
Oh goodness alot of things.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Well I really loved Over the Hedge. But just for a good laugh RV was freaking hilarious.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24, I was sick.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Id rather not say that one, I still have this particular want.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Do what I like!
34. What kept you sane?
Adam
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hmmm.. I dont know.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Well I get involved in the Breast Cancer Awareness activities every year.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I would have to say that would be Kellie Runge. Shes my boss, but I find it very easy to talk to her.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Tell the people you love just how much you love them every chance you get. You may not have tomarrow.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Every now and then, soft as breath upon my skin, i feel you coming back again...... and I believe." --- when I am missing a loved one.
The name of the song is I Believe sung by Diamond Rio
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
why?
Why is it that we never see it coming? Why do tears never seem to help? Why do the innocent always seem to be the one affected?
Yes Im feeling a tad bitter tonight. I've lost so many in the last few months. Tonight I learned of another. A friend of mine, whom always made me laugh, was hit by a drunk driver after assisting a friend who had a flat tire. Now you tell me just how freaking fair that was??? Yes I am angry. She was doing something good, what did she get for it? She got killed! The worst part for me, her funeral is tomarrow, I will be here. I will be three states away crying my eyes out while they all say good bye.
I am so tired of all my friends dying at such young ages. I know I just said it, but, its just not fair!!!!
Maegen was a wonderful person, she was smart, funny and super talented. This was her senior year of high school. She was a volunteer fire fighter. She has two brothers who gave her a hell of a hard time, but loved her so much. Her mom just recently got married again. Her dad is a pretty neat guy too. Every one who came around her couldnt help but catch her infectious smile and laugh at her silliness.
I LOVE YOU MAEGEN.
Yes Im feeling a tad bitter tonight. I've lost so many in the last few months. Tonight I learned of another. A friend of mine, whom always made me laugh, was hit by a drunk driver after assisting a friend who had a flat tire. Now you tell me just how freaking fair that was??? Yes I am angry. She was doing something good, what did she get for it? She got killed! The worst part for me, her funeral is tomarrow, I will be here. I will be three states away crying my eyes out while they all say good bye.
I am so tired of all my friends dying at such young ages. I know I just said it, but, its just not fair!!!!
Maegen was a wonderful person, she was smart, funny and super talented. This was her senior year of high school. She was a volunteer fire fighter. She has two brothers who gave her a hell of a hard time, but loved her so much. Her mom just recently got married again. Her dad is a pretty neat guy too. Every one who came around her couldnt help but catch her infectious smile and laugh at her silliness.
I LOVE YOU MAEGEN.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Good-bye
I think of you every day,
I wonder what would be,
I cant contemplate that your gone,
But I am assured that you are.
I wish I could go back,
Tell you all the secrets I have,
Laugh with you about every thing,
Cry with you in sadness.
I think of how much time we lost,
How we went separate ways, though I never forgot,
You were my friend, unwaivering.
It seems so cruel that you are gone,
Yet I sit here,
I hate how it happend,
But know it was probably just how it was planned.
I wish I could tell you just one more time,
I wish I could talk to you just one more time,
I wish I could go back to those carefree days,
The ones where we would live for ever.
I wish I could tell you just one more time,
That your laughter brightend my days,
Your song lifted my spirits.
You were my sister, my friend,
I wish I had told you,
Good-bye.
I wonder what would be,
I cant contemplate that your gone,
But I am assured that you are.
I wish I could go back,
Tell you all the secrets I have,
Laugh with you about every thing,
Cry with you in sadness.
I think of how much time we lost,
How we went separate ways, though I never forgot,
You were my friend, unwaivering.
It seems so cruel that you are gone,
Yet I sit here,
I hate how it happend,
But know it was probably just how it was planned.
I wish I could tell you just one more time,
I wish I could talk to you just one more time,
I wish I could go back to those carefree days,
The ones where we would live for ever.
I wish I could tell you just one more time,
That your laughter brightend my days,
Your song lifted my spirits.
You were my sister, my friend,
I wish I had told you,
Good-bye.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Been a while
Sorry guys that its been a few weeks. I have had alot going on. Last week a friend of mine from high school died. I have spent several days keeping it all in. I talked to Anastasia about it and took all my pain out on my sweet boyfriend at home. At points he would be talking and I would just be spaced out and I would not even hear him. Hes taken it all so well. I feel like I have neglected him in my own sorrow.
I have basically only talked to April C and Anastasia about it. I hate that I lost touch with so many people and have been making a very huge effort to connect with the ones I loved. I have sent so many emails to so many people to let them know how much they meant to me at one point and that I hate how long its been that I let that go by.
April told me that she loved me and that she missed me. Cynthia and I have exchanged several I miss you and I love yous. Its amazing how one persons passing makes every one realize who they have missplaced. Ive expressed things to April that I havent expressed to anyone. Thing is in high school we were not that close. She seems to be one of the best friends I could have ever asked for.
Shes proving that to me every day. We sat and wrote each other back and forth for hours the last few days. God I miss her. Eventually we will have to meet up and have a weekend of fun or something. We have already decided that. Shes promised me to make sure that Lisa is well treated and is going out with her this weekend. She feels the way I do right now. Dont just let go of these people. What happens when some one who really made an impression on you dies and you never told them? You begin to feel like I have over Emily's death. It hurts. Dont let that happen to you. Please make sure that the people who you love know exactly how you feel about them. Make sure your friends know exactly how much you love them. It is worth it trust me.
I have basically only talked to April C and Anastasia about it. I hate that I lost touch with so many people and have been making a very huge effort to connect with the ones I loved. I have sent so many emails to so many people to let them know how much they meant to me at one point and that I hate how long its been that I let that go by.
April told me that she loved me and that she missed me. Cynthia and I have exchanged several I miss you and I love yous. Its amazing how one persons passing makes every one realize who they have missplaced. Ive expressed things to April that I havent expressed to anyone. Thing is in high school we were not that close. She seems to be one of the best friends I could have ever asked for.
Shes proving that to me every day. We sat and wrote each other back and forth for hours the last few days. God I miss her. Eventually we will have to meet up and have a weekend of fun or something. We have already decided that. Shes promised me to make sure that Lisa is well treated and is going out with her this weekend. She feels the way I do right now. Dont just let go of these people. What happens when some one who really made an impression on you dies and you never told them? You begin to feel like I have over Emily's death. It hurts. Dont let that happen to you. Please make sure that the people who you love know exactly how you feel about them. Make sure your friends know exactly how much you love them. It is worth it trust me.
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