Oh man I have so much going on. This weekend got full fast. I have to of coarse some how catch my favorite team play. But thats college ball. Im going to a minor league game with a friend. Never been to one of those. So it should be fun! Actually dont tell anyone but Im excited. Yeah thats stupid I know. Im telling every one so hush its ridiculous. Im actually quite nervous. Im not sure why though. Im actually lately keeping my personal life quite personal. I mean yall are reading daily about the things I am struggling with and the memories that haunt me. But for reasons I wish to keep unexplained I am keeping my personal life and those involved to a mum. Its just for the better of a few people that I dont post what is going on in certain areas of my life. I care too much I guess. Maybe I will tell yall more about the adventures I am getting myself into when I become more comfortable. Thats just me. Normally I write anything and everything that rockets into my brain. But I will just maintain a sense of mystery until I gain some confidence. I dont make sense I know. Hang in there. If you are a regular in this "Confession" then you know eventually you find out just about every thing. Thats just how I work.
I fear that yall may believe I am upset. No the poetry last night was based more on something and some one that we lost in high school. I just have no peace with him this year for some reason. He usually shows up in my dreams when I have done something wrong. Though lately I know not what it is that I have done. Hes haunting my dreams and I cant figure out for the life of me why. I didnt even know him that long. I was a freshman when he died. It happend in late April. But he made a profound impact on my life. Probably because he was a boyfriend of my "big sister" Tara. He made me laugh. He encouraged me. He told me when I was stupid. Actually, when I for some reason got mad at Kevin the week before Zach died, he made a point to me that I have carried ever since. He told me not to stay mad cause you never know if you have tomarrow. God was he ever right. Anyways I am so not into talking about Zach tonight. I just thought I would explain a little. Since I was asked if I was ok.
Yes Im fine just living in a few different worlds of my own right now. Well I just spent two hours talking to my sister in law in Hawaii. So I am beat. I am ready to drag my ass to bed. So I will write more later.
1 comment:
It was hard losing him as a peer. He drowned. There is the reason the last line is I dont go near the water or something like that. I havent been comfortable in the water since. Zach was a friend of mine, Kevins and my older sister Lisa. He left a huge impact on alot of kids.
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