Progress

Ever looked back on a period of your life and thought you regretted it, then you wake up one day and realize it made you a better person? I feel that way. Although I have one more ghost to deal with. That would be facing Toby to give him his belongings. He said to trash them. I dont think so. Some of this is stuff he really cherishes. Why would I throw his stuff in the trash? Im not that mean spirited. Im slowly moving on and learning new things about myself. Im learning so much that I cant believe that there was another person hidden in me all these years. Who I am is slowly coming out. Im working on those fences and stone walls. Slowly they are coming down, board by board, brick by brick. One day I hope to be a carefree person. For now Im healing and learning and moving on as I have said a hundred times. Tonight I had a good night. Alex made me smile and even though we just layed around and watched a movie I enjoyed myself. Hes really bringing out alot in me. I hope he knows that even though he may not see the progress I feel it. Every time we are together I leave renewed and smiling. I dont remember when the last time I felt like that was.