My confession

It has been said you get two great loves in your life. I believe I have found one of mine. Yet I chose to be hard headed and closed off. I used to believe that Toby was it. Nope, wrong. He doesnt even qualify. I believe that my second great love is not of human type but of art. I love music and dance. Two talents I posess. Even if I dont flaunt them. Rarely does one hear me sing. I dance no longer. Those are two love affairs I will never fully put to rest. But they classify as art. This other great love of coarse is a person. Some one of great ability as a friend and as the one I love. I dont speak freely often on that. Sure I write how I love him. Yes I am open in telling you or anyone that. Love is just not my comfort zone. But he is of great importance to my heart. I unwittingly began a relationship with him in a friendly manner years ago. God put him in my path and there he has remained. Even when my best friends failed to understand. He has been there. For this I thank him. I also ask that he be as patient with me as he has always been. I know right now if a hard time for him, for different reasons it is hard for me also. I am reliving some pain right now that I dont freely speak of. Things that haunt me. But one day when I am ready I will reveal those things. The heartache of one year that damn near drove me to my limits. I was young yes, but I was hurting and unable to openly express it. This pain is around 9 years old. That entire year is one I wish to remain a mystery and only tell of the good times. It was the begining of the end in a period of my life. But one day I shall be more open. But to you, I only hope you know the truth. That truth being that I do love you. You and your friendship have meant more to me than I chose to let on. But I want you to know the depth of the love that goes behind my words. Even if my actions are not always evident of that love. I love you. I hope you know that.