Mood Clarification

Ok so I dont know what my deal was last night. I had soooo much on my mind it was ridiculous. I was in a fairly odd and contemplative mood. Kristy called me this morning. I miss her. I guess thats why I was so blah. Kevin well Kevin is an odd fellow with many things that make him special. Ask me to give either of the two up and I would just assume die instead. They are indeed the two of my most valued and best friends. I dont know what my deal was being all blah towards James. I wasnt even mad just disappointed in them all a little I guess. But I know they all love me. And I dont know why I was disappointed. Kinda childish I guess. James asked me about a hundred times why I was mad. Well I wasnt, but I had so much going on in my mind that I cant explain to anyone. Stuff that particularly would make him feel bad Im sure. You know I love him so much but Im sure that the fact that I never let go of some one I loved 6 years ago would break him up. That love is left untarnished just not the same as it was when I saw that person on a daily basis. Occassionally I get to thinking of the unnamed. And well it gets to me the way things were left. But none could take the place in my heart of where James has left a mark. He has stood by me and been my friend threw so much that he is the closest to filling a void none have ever been able to touch. He makes me smile, laugh and occassionally yes I cry. But he makes me so unbelievably happy. Even if we never really get to see each other. I guess I just really wanted to clarify my mood from last night. Oh and Hope, Im sure you know who that entry was about but umm Im not telling and our sister doesnt know even to this day so hey lets keep that where its always been. You being the only insider. Love you girl...