Those nights

There are still nights I wake up screaming,
Drenched in cold sweats.

Remembering the hurt and pain,
The guilt and cries.

Its those moments I see how far I have come,
From the scared girl that I once was.

There are nights I scream your name into the darkness,
Reliving the terrors that were cast upon us.

I used to think my life was over,
Just because you were gone.

Then I remember your smile,
My heart grows warm and I realize you never really left.

But on the nights I wake up with my heart pounding,
I feel so alone and afraid.

I worry so that I will never find some one else,
That I will never allow my heart that joy.

I live in a memory and dream of it nightly,
Some how I must learn to live in the now.

I must move past tragedy and learn to breathe,
You would have hated who I have become.

Yet in the same ways I have shrunk,
I have become stronger in my own life.

I have a sense of who I am now,
That I never knew before.

Sometimes I wake up screaming and crying,
But I know its just a dream and I will live on.