Pepper Lewis

On December 23, 2004 my dear Pepper Lewis left me. He was three years old as of the 16th. He was my little boy. He was a dog but so much more than a dog. I recieved him when he was 2 weeks old. He did not know he was a dog. I loved him very dearly. In a time when I needed something to take care of to keep my mind off of my inablitities, he kept me company and gave me purpose. Less than a month after I recieved Pepper Lewis I suffered a miscarriage. I chose to keep discretion in this. Most of the people and my family do not know of this. Hope, Lisa and Mom all know. Where my family is concerned that is all. Tobys family never did know. Two of his sisters know. But it was revealed to them only years later. Pepper was special to many people but he was a life saver for me. I do not know nor do I care how the people reading this see my pain. Most will say he was a dog move on get a new one. No I will not. It will be years if ever before I own another dog. Or any animal for that. For attachment that can cause physical pain is not in my agenda. I have one and only one attachment of personal choice for the moment. That is all I want and need. James you have been wonderful thank you for letting me cry on you the other night. Doug laid Pepper in the ground on Christmas day out on the property that belongs to the Johnson family. This way anytime I want I can always have access to go visit him. Yes I do plan on doing it. He loved Doug. He and Doug were good buddies. I gave Doug his black spiked collar. I am currently wearing his that I put on him last week around my wrist. It is brown leather with spikes and a name tag and his phone number on it. I feel the need to have him close to me and this was his and attached to him. So I feel him. The one he wore most frequently, the harley davidson one, is currently in my car around the rear view. Mom is going to have that one. Pepper was a very animated animal. He loved to play. He would run all over the place. He was so hyper. Like mother like son I guess. If some one said "Pepper wheres mommy?" he would litterally go looking for me. The vet told me the dog had no idea I wasnt his mom. Hell I doubt he knew he was a dog. Pepper Lewis you take a big peice of my heart baby boy. I will forever miss you singing to me. Our tug of war games with the dish towels, the game we played with the covers that made you growl. I will miss sharing my snacks with you. I know you loved hot cheetos. One of your favorite snacks. God you loved riding in the car. That was always so much fun to do with you. Then on Monday when you finally learned the word sit. That was so cute. You were so beautiful. I love you baby boy. You will always be with mommy. Thank you for teaching me how to love with out limits. You will never be replaced in my heart.