I am finding myself making sure I look nice here lately. I want to know that if Toby comes home unexpectedly that I will look nice. I want him to like what he sees. Ive never really cared. But its like we will be starting over with a 4 year history and I want him to feel attracted to me. Even though thats never been a problem. Usually I wear little to no makeup. The last week or so I have been wearing make up and looking nice just cause I am hoping for him to be here when I get home. I know thats stupid but still. Even the guys I work with are noticing that I have been looking nicer here lately. Tonight I was asked on three dates and had one proposition made to me. Ok well Im not one to go on stuff like that but it was interesting. Although the one that propositioned me knows me better than most. He was dead serious and usually he is just playing. Ok so maybe I do have some of the looks that I thought I lacked. Of coarse I told that person no cause well lets face it Im not that kind of girl. Im in love with a man that at the moment is hiding somewhere and wont talk to me. One day I hope I can get my life straightened out. Oh yeah another trooper asked me to do ride alongs. So I think I just might do that. Hopefully in the spring semester I will be able to get into the academy. Im a mess I know. Surprised no one has commented on me being so screwed up...
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