Ever thought about what makes you happy. I dont mean things like your family, friends, random things, or even a job. I mean really think about this for a minute. What is it that makes you happy? When you are having a bad day, what makes you smile?
Recently I have thought about these things on a very daily basis. If you had known me a few years ago I would have automatically said it was my boyfriend at the time. For a while yes it was something that made me happy. However, I know that I was living a dream, and well reality hit soon after. I loved him, yes. But I was trying to make a life and dream up what I wanted. It doesnt work that way. I had to learn this the hard way.
Now I will tell you its the laughter of my friends, who protect me and make fun of me and love me regardless of everything I do and say. Its a sweet good morning text message at some ungodly hour, just to let me know I am the first thing on their mind. It is a ridiculously obnoxious, long voicemail to tell me all about his day, just because he can. Its calling just to say he wanted to hear my voice.
Yes in a way I guess this is alot like saying, years ago, that happiness was my boyfriend. This is so much different for me. For the first time in my life, I am not scared. I am not freaked out at the idea of some one caring for me. I am excited about my phone ringing. I get a sweet message, voice mail or text, and it makes me smile all day long.
Yes the Marine makes me that ridiculously insane. I adore this man. I can say for the first time in many, many years, that I am 100 % happy with me, and who this person makes me. I am a better person for knowing him.
It truly is the little things, the smallest of gestures, that make me the happiest. All I can do is pray that this will work out. I know its not easy to do the long distance thing, but I know that with effort, prayer and commitment this can work.
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