Been a while

Sorry guys that its been a few weeks. I have had alot going on. Last week a friend of mine from high school died. I have spent several days keeping it all in. I talked to Anastasia about it and took all my pain out on my sweet boyfriend at home. At points he would be talking and I would just be spaced out and I would not even hear him. Hes taken it all so well. I feel like I have neglected him in my own sorrow.
I have basically only talked to April C and Anastasia about it. I hate that I lost touch with so many people and have been making a very huge effort to connect with the ones I loved. I have sent so many emails to so many people to let them know how much they meant to me at one point and that I hate how long its been that I let that go by.
April told me that she loved me and that she missed me. Cynthia and I have exchanged several I miss you and I love yous. Its amazing how one persons passing makes every one realize who they have missplaced. Ive expressed things to April that I havent expressed to anyone. Thing is in high school we were not that close. She seems to be one of the best friends I could have ever asked for.
Shes proving that to me every day. We sat and wrote each other back and forth for hours the last few days. God I miss her. Eventually we will have to meet up and have a weekend of fun or something. We have already decided that. Shes promised me to make sure that Lisa is well treated and is going out with her this weekend. She feels the way I do right now. Dont just let go of these people. What happens when some one who really made an impression on you dies and you never told them? You begin to feel like I have over Emily's death. It hurts. Dont let that happen to you. Please make sure that the people who you love know exactly how you feel about them. Make sure your friends know exactly how much you love them. It is worth it trust me.

2005 in review

Well this year has been some kind of interesting. Not all good but for the most part. I learned alot this year. But some things were lessons that I could never have learned with out pain.

January
Started out ok. I moved to Omaha to leave the pain behind.
February
My depression set in pretty deep. But I got help. Kristy calls to tell me she is engaged.
March
My Hope came to visit me for Spring Break. She was introduced to a friend of mine online and became responsible for us eventually ending up together. Kristy calls to tell me that shes pregnant.
April
I started working for Marriott. I went on the first date with Adam. Kristy calls to tell me shes married.
May
Yeah it took around5 weeks or so for me to get up the nerve to accept another invite to go out. But I finally did it. Adam is set in my life now. I went back to Texas to see Hope graduate. Boy is she getting old. My grandmother comes home with us to visit.
June
Just about this whole month my life is revolving around work and Adam. Got my first taste of the College World Series. Matt and Hope move home.
July
Hope leaves us to go to the US Air Force. Shes really not a baby anymore. I put in an application for a promotional position at work. I move into my new apartment. Adam tells me that he loves me.
August
I start the month with my nerve racking interview with Nick. About a week later I recieve the news that I will be offered the position. I start end of the month. We all go to San Antonio to see Hope for the first time in what seems like forever. Shes a US Airman now. During the entire trip my feet are swollen like crazy.
September
Kristy finally tells me shes gonna have a girl. Hope starts calling home most nights. Adam's sister got married, I met his dad. Adam and I took a trip to KC sometime this month.
October
Astros make the World Series! Hope comes home for around two weeks. Kristy calls to tell me that theres a new baby girl around.
November
Adam and I took a trip to Chicago. Man that is a beautiful town. Gone to see Dave Matthews Band.
December
Too busy. Shopping, Bills, Parties. Christmas and Christmas Eve held work for me. New years Eve had potential but wasnt what it should have been. I can mess anything up.

I wonder now what will be next. Only the months can tell us.