Peace

James is so funny. He purposely frustrates me. I miss him. Thats kinda pathetic I know but I do. He makes me smile so much its great. My mom says she thinks I am finally at peace with myself. I was waging an emotional and very physical war against myself and every man that got close to me there for a while. I literally had myself so exhausted and broken. I was half a person if not less. I am now full and happy again. I dont cry anymore. I dont sit and wonder what I am doing wrong. I just live my life freely with out worry of if Im pissing anyone else off by having fun. I can feel free to go out and do things with my friends, most of which are men. I dont have to worry that I am gonna get the third degree when my cell phone rings or when I get home. I look forward to my future now days. I am finally there. I am not worried what is gonna happen in a week or a month. I just know that the person that I love is 383 miles away and I know hes not out screwing around. Hell he doesnt have time. We talk so many hours a day its amazing we still have things to say to each other. I miss him. I am ready to be with him again. I sound so pathetic. Im laughing at myself. Well Im just gonna head off to bed with this smile on my face. James I love you!