Tonight I sat down for a talk with God. I picked up my Bible and closed my eyes, "speak to me, tell me what i need to know." Thats all I said. I kept my eyes closed and opened it to this.
1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 The most significant book in the Bible, if you ask me, to lead you to how to love some one the right way. So here it is:
1 And now i will show you the most excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophecy in part, 10 but when the perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Now if I could just let myself love some one completely and let go of all my pain. I have been praying for all the pain to end. I have been praying for my heart to stop hurting so much, for the love to just disappear. I think though that Kevin was and is still in my heart because he was meant to be there. God has a perfect plan. Maybe for Kevin and I it was not forever, but love for me will never fade. Its too great a force. Now I have to learn to live with that.
2 comments:
I love that saying, but remember the passage is not just referring to romantic love, rather than living a loving life. You can love those people in your life, but still recognize that they are not the right person for you. Sometimes being a loving person means you make hard choices to make those around you happy, to be a loving person instead of someone filled with pain or anger.
You have to also use those words of wisdom and apply it to yourself. Love yourself....do not get hung up on your past, move forward, persevere, and open up yourself to those possibilities.
Unfortunately, not every love story has a happy ending. Some of are sad. Chin up.
Oh yes, I think last night I realized more than anything, that I had not been loving me. That maybe where I went wrong. All I can do now is love and support him with out being there. Its all I really can. I have to learn to love me and grow as me or I will never be able to love anyone with the kind of love then need and deserve.
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