I get asked this and a whole list of the how am I questions every day. Truth is I dont have a lot of positive to say.
Truthfully the doctors have run so many tests. I had an EEG, which showed a slowing of the left temporal lobe. This led to the MRI, which by the way is like laying in a freaking coffin. That came out perfect. I had an Echo Cardiogram, that came back perfect. I wore a portable heart monitor for a little over two weeks, supposed to be a month, but I developed a nasty allergic reaction to the gel on the electrode things. Yay me! So now we wait for those results. If nothing comes back my neurologist is running more tests. At least they arent accepting that this is happening for no reason.
As for my heart. I feel like there is a giant hole in it. The life is sucked out of it daily. I am pathetically in love with a man who has nothing to say. My sister informed me last night he had told her how much he cared for me, wanted to take care of me and couldn't wait to be with me. So It just leaves me feeling empty again. I miss him more than I can imagine. Yep hes dating some girl. But it started just about two weeks or so ago. Shes beautiful. My God shes beautiful. It makes me think, wow why cant that be me?
Im stupid. I keep thinking that I will be fine that he will realize that he misses me and call. Ok now you know how pathetic I am.
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