Years later

With each passing day the pain grows stronger,
Though I know its only the time of year that does this to me.
I have restless and haunted sleep,
Dreaming of those few days.
That first week,
When as a young teenager my life grew very still.
I remember the need to run away,
Now years later I feel the sting of regret.
At the time I felt it necessary to leave,
To just get away from the chaos.
I now wish I had stayed and faced the truth,
Been strong as many of my friends were.
Looking back I wish I had really said goodbye,
Though I have the peace that many dont.
I hugged you on the way out of school that day,
Fixed a wrong that would have otherwise been left undone.
I wish I had said so much more,
And let you know that your friendship meant the world to me.
Now years later I feel the sting again,
Every year this time I go back.
I recall all the hurt and pain,
But I wont go near the water.