Monday Monday Monday

"Love is the knowledge that someone somewhere has a need for you, and you, a need for them." Unknown

So I will be in DC on, you guessed it, Monday! I cant wait to see him! Let me tell you I am already a huge ball of nerves and I have a three more days to go!

I guess in some ways I worry that I will get there and he will be disappointed in what he gets. Though we have been pretty open with each other and we each pretty well know what we are getting in the other person. You never know what they may think the first time that you really get to see each other. I mean I haven't seen him since our cruise in September. But we talk constantly, multiple time through out the day, we send lots of pictures, and we never run out of things to talk about. So why am I worried? I don't know really.

This man makes me crazy, in a wonderful way. He tells me I am beautiful and I look in the mirror and wish I could see what it is he sees, even though he tries so hard to tell me. Generally I am a troll when I am first woken up, but just add Kevin and the troll melts away. I swear he can wake me up at some ungodly hour, and I smile. I dont get all bitchy because I was sleeping good or because I may not fall back asleep for hours, I just lay in bed and smile. Usually because hes sent some sweet text that says he misses me or cant wait to see me. Its crazy the effect that he has on me.

I swear this man has the ability to take my bad days and make them good. He always knows just what to say to make me feel better even if he just calls and listens. Its amazing. I have never opened up to any single person the way that I do with him. I find myself wondering if I will be even more ridiculous after getting him to myself for a week.

When my week is over and I have to return to Omaha, will I be one big emotional mess? I have always prided myself on the fact that I never needed anyone to validate me. I never needed anyone to make me feel better. I have always had attachments but I have never had a need for some one. That is the only real way to describe this. The feeling I have for this man is so much more than attraction. I almost feel as if I need him. Yes this is scary. I mean why wouldn't it be? If it wasn't, it would not be real right?

At least once a day the man turns me into a completely mushy girl. He says something that makes my heart beat fast and my head spin. I swear this is crazy. I know so many people say that happens to every one but I have never in my life felt that way. I have loved a few people. I think I was only truly in love one time, and even then it was nothing like this. Yes I would trade that feeling I had then for all the wonderful ones I have now.

Yes I know exactly what the odds are stacked against us. Lets see there's the fact that hes active duty military, which puts him at risk to go to war at any time. Then there's the whole long distance thing, sure this kind of thing doesn't help at all. I mean how many people actually make that work? Those two things alone are enough to make a lot of girls, and men, run from the start. I will say one thing though, if it wasn't for the distance, we probably would not have taken the time to get to know one another like we have. I think that even though we have lacked the physical time together, we have done very well so far. Yes some days this is very frustrating. There are days I want to sit in a corner and feel sorry for myself because I am slightly lonely. But what good would any of that do? No good, that's what. So I just don't do it.

So finally after four long months, I will be meeting him at Regan on Monday morning! I swear the next few days cant go fast enough. I am going to drive me and every one around me nuts right up to the minute I jump on him! I swear hes not gonna know what hits him when I see him that first moment! Crazy to think a few months ago I met and avoided this beautiful man, and now all I can think about is how lucky I am to have him in my life. I can not wait to see what we have in store for ourselves! I love every inch of this man, he is seriously that guy we all dream about, or at least for me he is that prince charming we all pretend to fall in love with as little girls. I just cant imagine why he would ever want me, but I swear one thing, I wont be letting him go.