Angela

The last few days at work have been nice.  Busy, but nice.  My dear Angela was back for the first time in 2 months.   She has been great to work with.  I've seriously missed her.  The two of us sound like a chorus of coughing bandits though.  We start to laughing at each other or some one else and the coughing starts.  I hate that she's so ill, but I will admit it is nice to have someone who understands.  She is a wonderful person with a great desire to live.  I have never met a person more deserving.  Watching her health decline, the hospital stays become longer and more frequent, I am scared. 

The fear I have for Angela, is quite selfish on my behalf.  Yes I am scared because she is my friend, a friend who I would not know my own personal truth with out, but I am also scared because I worry this is a glimpse into my future.  See, selfish.  More so, I am so scared to not have her there.  Not have her to text or send a message to, or call the moment that I need reassurance that our fight is not in vein. 

You see when I met Angela 3 years ago, I didn't like her.  Not because of her personality or her or for any reason in particular.  I was scared to get to know her.  I had lost a friend, Jared, many years before, to the same disease.  You see I have seen every bit of her illness before.  I have seen the transplant, the recovery, the before and after.  I also was around when he died.  I remember the pain we all felt, my beautiful friend Sherry in particular.  Jared was every bit the fighter Angela is.  So I did not want to risk the pain of getting to know her, becoming her friend, and losing her down the road.

Some where along the way, I have made friends with her.  She has helped me to learn so much, not only about life, but about Cystic Fibrosis.  She teaches every one she meets.  All along I have thought this process was just a disease that affected the lungs.  That is not the case.  It is so much more complex.  She is my angel.  I pray that she will continue to fight and be a light into our world.  That Angela will be strong and have a beautiful life.  I pray that medicine advances and Angela gets the life she deserves.  This is not a fight for the weak of heart, and Angela, has the strongest heart I know.